WHY

Well recently I kinda involving myself with something that I would say complicated. Yeah I'm tired figuring out. It's just that I cant seem to resist the vibe, but somehow, if I allow it to myself then it's gonna be yeah;complicated. I am now might losing the main reason of this entry. hahaha. But the bottom line is I am in a very confused state of mind. The question of should or should not. No matter how strong the rush of allowing you to invade my heart, I can never be too strong to hold a knife and stab that back. But I know I cant resist your existence. Your image spreading in my veins. Every time those voice speaks, my heart pounding so hard. Pardon friends if I always caught smiling to my blackberry. There is one person in there being the reason to smile. And please checking up my phone now will be totally no no. Especially you. Because I think I'm stealing something from you. That's the secret I can never tell. I'm feeling guilty. I'm suffocated with this guilt. WHY? Bety you shouldn't be too confident about your feelings towards people. Those feelings might change. Those stupid crush you assumed might infect every inch of your heart until there's no way to stop them. And now you lose. You got trapped in your own game. It's an insane situation when a USER being in love with the PLAYER.

Guilty Pleasure :)

Have both of you living in a happy life? I doubt that hihi. Where are you guys now? I kinda miss your pathetic stupid "show off" dramas. Camon' man bring it on! Is that all you've got? Duuhhh... I told you so. Once your shit ain't got no impact on me, it's all useless now. I guess you're stuck with it huh? Too bad hihi :D

Nak Habaq maiii

What's up with the title? hehehe never mind. Okay I've been looking for a perfect time to update this blog but you know sometimes the feeling is not really there. There are plenty of things to share here but yeahhh I dont feel like writing. But today is a lovely day and I want to write a bit just to update some recent stuff happening so far. Well I've finished my 3 years study in UiTM Lendu, Melaka. So that means I'm leaving Melaka yeaayyyy! Its kinda funny though. Come to think of it, I used to say before that one day when I can finally get the fuck out of Lendu, I wont missed anything there. Including who I met, any memories 3 years back blablabla NOTHING! Coz I used to hate everything about Melaka. However now, I'm sad. I cant afford to leave all the memories there. My friends. My best friends. All the good times and the hard times. That day I had one last hug with my best buddy. Guess what, I burst in tears. I know it will be hard for us to hang out together after this. 

I'm staying in KL for a week. Just to give myself a chance to have a good time with my friends. And I'm having a great time! I know I should do that more often after this. I don't know what but I feel the rush of positiveness in my body. I mean that I'm starting to forget the past and bad part of my life back then and try to enjoy life! So many things I planned since I'm not attached to any university commitment anymore. I wanna try new stuff. I wanna be a fun person which I guess I used to be. Well yes I wanna be a positive person. 

I can see that despite of my misery and dull life, there still one point along the journey which makes me happy. One state of life which puts every thing into a fine place. I did things that I thought I could never done. People who I least expected came and approached me. I make new friends. I talk much than before. You see, I think my brain just starts to work properly now. Pardon my poor time I've spent with that pathetic guy who basically leads to my clogged brain. Rebooting the system and voila! Brilliant person just have been reborn. Uekkk Uekkk...

p/s: Hot hot chicken shit. Ever heard of it before?  

Aku Tak Pernah

Well recently I've been distracted with a few stuff which I think mostly those stupid stuff coming from those morons. I tell you what, all those shit never give much impact on me. I guess you're wrong. Don't tell me that you think I'm that kind of person who would responds to any of that drama. why? Well one thing for sure, When I said you're out, then you're done. Secondly, I could barely felt anything against what you've been bragging about because anything about you are not so important to me. And thirdly, she's nothing compared to me. How can I be so sure? Well, attitudes. But it's funny though. Thanks for giving me a pleasure to laugh my ass out. So that's it. You got it all wrong. We used to be together, and I knew you almost perfectly. So everything you did, I've figured. I'm prepared! So what you did were all useless. Ngantuk sial. So bye bye. I'm off to finish my last assignment.

p/s: Why would I want to give a damn about your new toy? it's cheap btw. And hehehe... kinda outdated. I'm sorry :D

Random

Haiii everyone! I know it's been quite some time since my last post. I kinda busy plus there was one fuck bastard who broke into my house in Melaka WHILE I'M SLEEPING and manage to get away with my dear boyfriend; my blackberry of course I'm fuckin' single remember? Together with some cash and my broadband. I'm glad he forgot to bring along my laptop with him though he did intended to take it. So yeah. I'm okay. That's more important right? 

So there have been lot of things happening. I just wanna ignore it coz mostly, it was just stupid stuff that I think it dont deserves my attention. I've rather care about my shit than to mind about errr whatever. Well yes I appreciate those times and things that I've gone through so far coz it helps me learn people a bit more deep. I hope I can tear this one page, one chapter of my life which I considered as "biggest mistake". But looking back, I cant right? So realizing that we cant tear that particular page, it dont stop us to just burn the whole book into the fire right? Sounds brilliant!

I wanna do something for myself. Someone told me that I live my life based on people's expectations. I never live to please my own self. Well hmmmm I think he's right. So I'm planning to please myself with what I want. I found pleasure of being single. Every time. Maybe I should just being in love with myself instead of other people. If only I can marry my own self would be a happy ending haha. But every one know its pathetic. Hmmm. I'm thinking of an escape tour. Spend time overseas and look how its like. One more brilliant idea.