Wow... I cant believe its been more than a year since my last post! Its 2013 already OMG! Now Im glad that this is just a blog. If not, dah lama aku kena cerai talak tiga kerana mengabaikan kewajipan dalam kehidupan berumah tangga dengan blog tersayang ini. Though I know I updated too much nonsense stuffs here, but still I'm glad that this blog had serves me really well in helping such a problematic psychotic fucked up person like me in expressing every single thing I've went through all this while.
I really hate the fact that I need to refresh my memory for this comeback entry. Its tiring and hopeless and no one would care about what I've been trough I know! But still I want to say everything here coz my head is getting heavy for what matter that revolves around my life now. But its too much! I still cant figure how should I write about one fuckin year all in one entry! Trust me 2012 was CRAZY!
And this year start with even crazier shit back to back. I almost give up with all this and be a drug addict instead. But hell that was a stupid thought that came to mind when I was upset. You see, sometimes I wonder if I was born stupid or its because I've spent too much time with stupid people which eventually have made me stupid as fuck. God this is tiring. Have all other stupid people other than me feel tired of their own stupidity?
I come to a point where I cant stand myself anymore. I dont understand how could I treated my life so awful and disgusting. To be honest I felt disgusted with my own self. And sadly I've let people treats me the same. Just like a piece of shit. Though I sensed that coming from the very beginning but I just cant fight the urge to try; just to give a shot as if it might turn out differently. But damn I always wrong. I'm jeopardizing my own self bit to bit till my dignity smashed to pieces like ashes. Yes I realized every single stupid thing I did but...I dont know. Maybe I'm just stupid.
So now what's next? Move on and start living all over again? That sound soooo freakin boring but thats the only way to live anyway. To start a new slate. Repairing and adjusting and just simply move on. What I expect from now is to just fuckin LEARN from my mistakes. Yeah yeahhh I said it million of times before I know! That's why I said all these in here. Its like my own agreement with my self.
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